If You Could Live Your Life Over
by Dera DeRoche-Jolet

Nothing happened. We passed from 1999 to 2000 with hardly a problem. The changeover was supposed to be momentous. While the celebrations were pretty exciting, we’re already a couple of months into the "millenium" and life is still going on as it was before except that we’re dating our checks with two zeroes rather than two nines.

Disappointed? In many ways we were let down. Maybe we were expecting too much or maybe it’s because we didn’t know what to expect. Somehow, in the back of our minds we got the notion that things would be different. Two zeroes meant it was time for a new start - a time for renewal although to many of us it was just another New Year.

It may not be January 1, 2000 as you’re reading this but that doesn’t mean it too late to make significant changes in your life. Maybe you took my advice from my last column and made some "anytime" resolutions.

Now let’s look at things from a different perspective: "If you had your life to do over, what would you do differently?"

First, understand that we all make mistakes and overcome obstacles. The important point is to learn from those mistakes, deal with the obstacles and emerge as better people. Think of your life up to this point as having been in school and begin now as the person you have always wanted to be. Take what you have learned of yourself and the world around you and begin again.

Think about the person you've always wanted to be and the life you always wanted to have. Then write it down. I have found there is nothing more powerful than committing to paper your decisions about how you are going to live and who you are going to be.

Now take stock of what you already have. For instance:

* What are your current advantages?
* What is happening in your life right now that you consider positive?
* What's positive about you personally?

Don’t just think just in terms of materials things. Consider listing your family, friends, contacts, career, skills, attitudes and health, for example, as positive things in your life.
Now ask yourself, "What recently happened that was good in my life?" Some examples include a promotion, success in business, marriage, first child, etc.

After taking stock of what you are grateful for and what advantages you have to build upon, ask yourself these questions:

1. Who do I want to be in my career/ business?
2. What are the things I can do that will help me to be who I want to be?
3. What can I do every day to strengthen these values?

Who you are in business is intrinsically tied to who you are in your personal life. You can take your imagination further than the just the business aspect (and you should) by asking yourself:

Who do I want to be in my family?
Who do I want to be with my friends?
Who do I want to be in my community?
Who do I want to be to myself?

When listing your goals, I have found that you cannot simply want to do something or have something. You have to be somebody. In other words, you first have to change yourself.

For example, why do so many people lose weight and then gain it back? It’s because simply focus on losing weight is not the answer. If you actually lose the weight, but don't change your self-image, you will soon add the weight back.

There is something very powerful in knowing who you are, and committing to the things you need to do. Stand strong in your convictions and values. It’s never too late to live your life over.