It's a Family Affair
by Dera DeRoche-Jolet

The closeness and special connection that many families share extends from their homes and into their companies. If I were to attribute one reason for the success of so many family-owned alarm businesses, it would be that bond.

But that bond can also cause problems. How do you tell your own brother that he is not pulling his weight within the company? How do you tell a niece that she is not right for the job? "You’re fired" is hard enough to tell an employee, but when it’s your son, it’s almost next to impossible.

In spite of all the mergers, takeovers and buyouts, many alarm companies are still small to medium sized businesses that are family owned. Large companies may face challenges but family businesses face these additional "relationship" challenges.

Whether it’s husbands and wives working together, parents and children or siblings, those relationships must learn not to bring the problems they have with each other at home into work. It’s also very important for them not to bring work problems home at night.

To do that, family members must learn to talk to each other. That may sound simple but good communication can stop random thoughts before they have a chance to run wild.

One problem that families bring into their businesses is an unwillingness to evaluate performance. That situation becomes especially noticeable when a position opens up. Who will you put in that position - your son or another employee who is better qualified?

Another problem family businesses encounter is how to treat two children when they are doing two very different jobs and hold two very different positions. Because parents are supposed to love their children the same, their reasoning follows that they must be paid the same. That logic doesn’t follow in a business environment and totally ignores the issue of who contributes the most.

Respect is essential. No one should be taking undue advantage of the business because of his or her relationship. Someone who is not pulling his or her weight because of the relationship is wrong. A father that hires his son must respect him and believe that he would be hired and be a valuable asset to the company even if he wasn’t related. A son should respect his father not only as his parent but as his boss as well.

Without communication and respect comes conflict. Conflicts often arise among family members involved both directly and indirectly in the day-to-day operations of the company. The potential problem of rivalry can creep into any business situation but in a family-owned business the problem is magnified.

That’s why in many cases, relatives in business will try to avoid any conflict knowing how much it can hurt the business. However, they soon learn that simply avoiding the strife won’t work. When those issues that caused the problem in the first place never get resolved, there remains an underlying resentment. No business will be able to function for long with those conditions. Certainly, no business will be able to grow.

That’s why it’s so important to resolve the problems as soon as they arise. When two or more family members have unresolved anger, others in the company will quickly notice. Obviously, resolving the problems can greatly improve the atmosphere of the company and the company becomes a happier place to work in. Everyone from management to employees become more productive and creative and the company becomes a place for learning and growing rather than bickering.

If a problem is settled so that one relative wins and the other loses, the problem is not really fixed. The loser is still angry, frustrated and dissatisfied. Probably the loser will try to "get even" in some way or another, so the conflict continues, and may even escalate.

Furthermore, if family members deal with problems by trying to defeat the other person, there is a very likely chance that no one will win. In the end no one wins, no one gains his or her goals and everyone ends up frustrated and angry.

The ultimate goal should be to try to build cooperation, better relationships and improve the company. When family members work toward developing these goals and habits, both individual members and the company itself will run more efficiently, produce a better quality of life and achieve greater success.

In all honesty it doesn’t always work that way. So what do you do if you can’t bring yourself to fire your son? At that point, there’s not too much you can do. But at least if he has his own office, you can still tell him to "go to his room."